None of this is ours; we wrote nothing; we are human and therefore make mistakes, so please email us before the wank begins–we’re happy to fix our mistakes!; posting is every day that ends in a 0 or 5.

Series || A Lunch Counter Love Story

Take one ex-circus performer, one homicide detective, a dash of meddling cohorts, a heavy helping of pie recipes, mix well, and bake until somebody gets a date.

How to Be a Superhero

“Am I sacked?” M doesn’t bother answering James’ attempt at humor but instead continues in his point. “Since your return from the Skyfall operation, which was over a year ago I might add, you have not taken one day of

Series || Entropy Sequence

Harry needs to be put through interrogation testing before he can be cleared for fieldwork. Eggsy has free time.

The Younger Prince

On the eve of the marriage between Charles Hansen and Jazmine Becket, both Raleigh and Hercules are forced to confront their own painful past. Or, the Regency AU nobody asked for.

What Makes a House a Home

It’s Jim’s first day of Starfleet Academy and Chris is not nervous, no matter what his wife says. (“This isn’t how fucking adoption works,” Chris remembers telling the seven-year-old standing on his doorstep in the almost-light of the late summer


James Bond didn’t need anything or anyone. He had already lost the war that circumstance had waged against him. When his affection for Q flared, he got the love he never had, and the home he never knew he was

Once Upon a Different Lifetime

The night before the final test, Harry makes Eggsy a promise: once he is a Kingsman, they will talk about their future together. Then V-Day happens, and although Harry recovers, he doesn’t remember that last day he spent with Eggsy.

Series || Old Dog, New Tricks

When Raleigh nearly dies during Pitfall, Chuck surprises everyone (but Herc) by surviving and, for some reason, biting Raleigh. It turns out, Chuck is also a dog and has been since birth, and now Raleigh is a dog, too. A


While in Mexico, Gibbs is asked to return to NCIS after Tony uncovers some disturbing things about Ziva and Director Shepard. With his memory still sketchy, he settles back into life in DC without Tony and discovers just what he’s

Alive and Living (In That Order)

During a zombie apocalypse, Lassiter struggles to get himself and a traumatized Shawn Spencer to safety. Initially concerned only with survival, Lassiter discovers that there’s still something worth hoping for, worth caring for.

The Little Shatterdome Around the Corner

The “You’ve Got Mail” AU no one asked for! While Raleigh’s working on the Wall, he starts trading emails with a guy he met on a now-defunct academy message board. They tacitly agree to not give away any details of

Take a Chance (It Wasn’t What You Know)

It occurs to Eggsy, only when Harry’s got her on his (very soft) bed, kneeling between the spread of her thighs and kissing between the valleys of her tits, that if there is one and only one person on this

Was It Love at First Sight?

Raleigh and Yancy have been counselors at Camp Cedar Hill for the past three summers and they have good idea of what to expect. Until Assistant Director Hansen’s kid turns up to run kayaking. alternate title: chuck hansen makes poor

Series || Shenny Cooper for the Win

A collection of self-contained drabbles and ficlets which celebrate all things Shenny and seek to bring together our favourite Whack-a-Doodle and Warrior Princess while (hopefully) still keeping them in character.

Series || Emergence

Gibbs is the Alpha Dragon for the east coast Wing… and the lead for the NCIS MCRT. He has two rules above all others; No other emerged dragons on his NCIS team, and no relationships with non-dragons. Tony has no

Agree to Disagree

Sometimes, good mates have to agree to disagree. (Or: Roxy and Eggsy may be friends, but that doesn’t mean they understand each other’s romantic tastes. At all.)

Chasing Thursdays

Elsa has no desire to follow in her politician mother’s footsteps and Emma wants to quit working at Granny’s. They decide to open Frozen and take advantage of the summer tourist season, but Emma doesn’t count on their neighbor, tattoo

The Night King

After V-Day, Merlin fixes the hole in Harry’s head with his magic and then makes Harry the new Arthur — a job which comes with the responsibility of leading the Wild Hunt every full moon. Eggsy makes a discovery of

Arts and Crafts

Chuck Hansen is home after graduating from college, searching for a job – and, as part of the arrangement, gets stuck dropping his four year-old sister Lucy off at preschool every morning. He stops bitching once he meets Mr. Becket.

A More Lethal Dress

During a rewatch a few weeks ago, Fire_Sign made the remark that the black dress Phryne wears to dinner with Lin… (you know, the dinner where she offends Lin by implying that he knows anything about the opium trade which,

The Bigger the Dream, the Harder the Grind

“There’s an app for this you know,” Merlin said. “It’s called Grindr. It’s highly popular amongst men who are gay or bi-curious-” “I know what it is,” Harry replied testily, eager to nip the conversation in the bud before it

Where My Demons Hide

When Yancy Becket died still connected to Raleigh in the Drift, Raleigh lost everything, including part of his soul. Unable to deal with the reminders and accusations that he’d killed his Alpha Guardian brother Raleigh fled the Anchorage Shatterdome. Five

Series || Yours, Mine, & Ours ‘verse

Featuring: Giant sharks, family bonding, a bazooka, frustration, idiot fathers, purple casts, mothers that just don’t understand, New Years confetti, and Grace facepalming way more often than she would like it. Rated T for “Throw them in a closet until

The Devil’s White Knight

When Harry wakes up in an alternate timeline–a timeline where Voldemort was defeated long before the first war–he discovers everything is different. His parents, his godfather, his friends–and him. Harry must deal with the consequences of who he would have

Series || Loud and Clear

The thing with Roy is founded on coffee snobbery and stupid text messages and seriously awesome makeout sessions in the car. Oh, and the love of a lifetime, or whatever.

Getting It Right

Five times Eggsy gets Harry to kiss him for the wrong reasons (and one time he gets it right).

Series || The Adventures of Autistic Spidey and Schizophrenic Wade (Who Fall in Love and Do Other Fun Stuff)

Spider-Man meets Deadpool for the first time, and realizes there’s more to the merc than people have been telling him when he spirals unexpectedly into a panic attack and Deadpool actually stays with him through it. Not only stays, but

Series || Yancy’s Badonkadick

Yancy’s hung like a horse; Raleigh plans to take him for a ride.

No One Likes Us (We Don’t Care)

When Harry Hart turned up at the police station to pick Eggsy up, he thought his luck had changed – after years of Dean, this posh new alpha was offering to take Eggsy away from the estate where he’d been

It Ain’t Moonlight, But It’ll Do

Healing after closing the Breach doesn’t mean no one has nightmares anymore. Sometimes, they’re bad enough to make another attempt at sleep an awful idea. On those occasions, a former jaeger pilot might take a certain amount of comfort from