skoosiepants

NINJA

“We are your losers, your loud weirdoes, your science stars, your shy, retiring band geeks,” Kevin thinks, and sets off for the stage.*

The Magic Friend Band

The totally true story of how Spencer Smith joined Patrick & Brendon’s Magic Friend Band.*

Making Other Plans

Kevin quits showbiz, gets a divorce, goes to college, starts a band, and gets adopted by crazy people.*

When You Know It’s Meant To Be

In which Kevin realizes Mike is his Disney princess, and Mike realizes Kevin would look hot naked.*

Some Kind of Magic

Mike doesn’t know what to make of the scene in his backyard.*

Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

Brendon likes leaning on tall things, like lampposts and Gabe Saporta. Which is probably why he wakes up naked, duct taped to a Big Wheel.*

The Saddle Club

There’s very little that Brendon loves more than his old pony Murray.*

We Would Bring It On and On

Every day he texts Frank that he’s dying a slow, painful death, and Frank always ignores him and sends him pics of Gerard’s nostrils or dog shit or something. Frank’s an asshole. He has no idea why they’re friends, and

Never Needed It Now So Much

“Um.” Kevin twists his fingers together and tries to think of a non-pathetic way to beg Carden not to kill and eat him. He’d totally be gamey and, like, like—juicy and tender, *oh sweet baby Jesus*, who the heck is

In the Movement

“Notice how the skinny tie makes him look less like he’s carrying shrunken baby heads around in his pockets.”* Follows Dancing Goes All Night.

Build Your House, Call Me Home

William is not entirely certain how this happened, how he became a veritable magnet for downtrodden orphans, but he’s going to blame John.*

The Scene Isn’t What’s It’s Been

Brendon’s more of an in-your-face naked guy, while Mike’s nakedness sneaks up on you out of nowhere. It’s like Kevin doesn’t realize Mike isn’t wearing pants until he realizes Mike *isn’t wearing pants.*

Bust Your Move

Kevin’s breathing goes all shuddery, bordering on gasping, and Carden oh-so-slowly pets him there, right on the side of his throat, and shushes him and Kevin thinks, a little hysterical, that if he’s trying to calm him down the petting

Revival

Mike looks from Kevin to Nick to Joe, who’s behind Nick, to Nick and then to Kevin again. “Oh, fuck me,” he says. “You’re a Jonas brother.”*

Close Enough For True

If you wanted to, if you were so inclined, you could place the blame squarely on William – in fact, William himself would be eager to accept it, if only because the story ended so well – but in the

Entropy

So he knows it is a quantum mirror.* Follows Supersaturation, Solvations, and Enthalpy.

Dancing Without Warning

“Let me get this straight,” Nick says, ignoring Joe’s snickers. “You accidentally implied that Mike Carden is a rapist.”*

Dancing Goes All Night

The thing is, if they’d wanted him to actually pay attention to the interview, they shouldn’t have sat him next to the lady with the polar bear cub.*

The World May Never Know

“It takes three licks, dude,” Joe says, and Brendon nods, says, “Duh,” because he’s a freaking wise owl, he knows these things.*

Allotropy

Follows Sublimation. Alex is totally afraid of aliens.*

Supersaturation

Rodney is sort of angered beyond all possible comprehension at the new batch of scientists.*

Songs About Vikings

The fifth time Brendon jerks off to a guy, he calls up Shane and says, “Spencer Smith’s beard made me gay.”*

Enthalpy

Dimensions splintered out in countless permutations, Frank knew this.* Companion to Solvation.

The Perfect Man

Joe refuses to be charmed. Joe’s neighbor is some sort of drunkard or druggie, okay, and he smells like wood varnish and burnt hair and Joe really, really hopes he doesn’t have an explosive meth lab set up in his

Mostly Products Created By Nature

Bob Bryar is not dreamy. Bob Bryar looks like the kind of guy who could fuck you up in a back alley, but doesn’t care enough about you to actually do it. Greta has had the most inconvenient crush on

Once Upon a Furry Octopus

He was an intelligent, intuitive pet, but he wasn’t going to start sniffing out ZPMs or hidden Ancient weaponry or detailed instructions on how to kill a Wraith with a common household item. A pen, for instance.*

Anywhere You Let It Go

“Okay, this is what I’ve figured out so far. I’m stuck in some sort of hell that looks vaguely like a Sandra Bullock movie.”*

Found Days

Brendon has a habit of handling Pete the same way he handles his twelve-year-old daughter.*