Not the World’s Most Masculine Man
“Admit it,” Brendon said, leaning close and purring in Ryan’s ear, “I’m pretty much the girl of your dreams.”*
“Admit it,” Brendon said, leaning close and purring in Ryan’s ear, “I’m pretty much the girl of your dreams.”*
In the town of Modest, it was ten thirty in the morning. The toilet paper factory the town’s economy rested upon was up and running, steam billowing from tall towers rising high above the entire town.*
Spencer, Ryan concluded, had some kind of magical powers. That, or the uncanny ability to sweet-talk his boyfriend’s friend’s friend’s security guards into getting them on the guest list for this entirely swanky, if rather vacuous and showy, party. It was LA, Ryan expected nothing less; he’d left his wide-eyed wonder behind somewhere around the third semester at UCLA when he realized this was just another city and he was just another music studies major.*
As I’m sure some of you will already know, sometimes a shop evolves into much more than a shop. It becomes a place where people go when they feel sad, or happy, or when they need sanctuary from the rituals of day-to-day life.*
Time marches on, as it is wont to do, and things quickly settle down after the drama on and around Valentine’s Day. With the tension between Ryan and Brendon now converted into an almost sickeningly sweet relationship, the atmosphere in Little Things is back to its usual chocolate-scented harmony. The days slide into weeks, and then months, bringing warm weather and a rush of students needing a chocolate fix during their finals.* Sequel to The Little Things.
Brendon turns into a girl for a day and his bandmates cannot control their urges. And so, when Brendon turns back into a guy and discovers he is pregnant, no one knows who the father is.*
“Make sure that the Clandestine Vampire Hunters reach the House of Wolves bar,” Beckett said a disturbing tranquiility about his voice. “I have already given the orders to my men, but the other gangs might go after them now that they’re wounded.” Linked to the last chapter that has links to all previous chapters embedded.*
Ryan Ross is a college student working at a women’s clothing store. He lives with his roommate, Spencer Smith, another college student who works at a call center. One night, he has the mischance of falling, right into one Brendon Urie, a hairstylist from across the quad. Along with their mutual friend, Jon Walker from the card shop, a story of love ensues. Disclaimer: So not even true.*
Spencer and Ryan looked at each other for a moment, and Ryan nodded. (It’s always Ryan’s call; everything about the project has to go through Ryan first because at this point, Ryan basically is the project. His entire life has been leading up to this, he thinks. This is his life.)*
Where Panic are largely rentboys, MCR runs a clinic, and FOB is off in Sausalito, saving the manatees.*
“Well,” Pete’s mom says, one hand on her hip. She leans against the car window, peering in at Patrick. “At least you’re not twenty-eight.”* Sequel to A Little More Sixteen Candles.
When his alarm goes off, Ryan thinks very, very seriously about skipping his classes and calling in sick to work.*
Brendon had always danced. Even when he was really little, he’d steal his older sisters’ dress-up skirts and twirl and twirl in them until he was sick and had to collapse to catch his breath, and then he’d do it again. Of course, he’d gotten older and stopped stealing his sisters’ clothing, mostly because they had no qualms about ganging up on him and forcibly taking it back, usually with merciless tickling and pinching. Was it his fault he fit their jeans better than they did?*
Brendon Urie is a big damn rockstar and plays eight different instruments and cannot for the life of him get this fucking hotel room door open.*
Brendon feels pretty dumb when he thinks about it later, but the first time he walks in on Ryan, he’s not actually sure what Ryan’s doing. He stands and stares for like a whole minute, frowning in confusion, because what, is Ryan in pain or something?*
Pete has only two things to live for: Keeping Patrick alive and killing as many vampires as he can.*
Have you any funny stories behind the making of the album [pretty. odd.]? “We can’t… I mean…” “We can’t tell you any funny stories because we’d probably be killed.” – Jon and Ryan being interviewed by NME.com*
College AU. Panic never formed at high school. Instead, they meet at college, and in between striking up a friendship with his working colleague Spencer and trying to ensure that his roommate Jon doesn’t get sick of him, in between forming a band and writing songs, Brendon would really appreciate it if his bandmate (and Spencer’s best friend) Ryan Ross didn’t turn out to be Brendon’s TA. Especially considering their fling just before the start of the term.*
Ryan’s allergic to roses. Well, maybe “allergic” is the wrong word for it.*
Brendon paid attention to what would make Ryan chuckle, low and breathless, and what would make him shudder and bite his lip.*
Frank loves Gerard’s stupid faces and his ideas that make him wake Frank up in the middle of the night, but try as he might he can’t remember thinking back then ‘this dude is awesome; clearly I want to host a nature show with him.’*
Spencer really finds this new version of Ryan supremely irritating.*
Brendon swears this is the last time he’s going to take treasure-hunting advice from a giant turtle.*
“Spence, I’m. Look, I’m going to prove this girl-thing to you, okay? I’m going to,” he held up his hands, “this is so brilliant, I’m going to become a girl.”*
Ashlee and Pete marry in a small civil ceremony (one judge, a notary and Patrick) seven minutes after they apply for a marriage license (seventy two hours after Ashlee returns from her gynecologist). Despite this somewhat inauspicious beginning, Ashlee and Pete are overwhelmingly happy.*
“Keltie wants to watch us fuck,” Ryan says evenly, like it’s a perfectly rational thing to throw out there and discuss.*
There are 17,508 islands in Indonesia, about 6,000 of which are inhabited. On August 31, 2008, returning from an Australian tour in the middle of the year’s most violent storm to date, a plane carrying Panic at the Disco loses power, veers off course, and crashes into one of the remaining 11,508 islands. This is their story.*
Spencer isn’t even surprised when Ryan comes storming over, making his way purposefully across the dance floor to where Spencer is leaning against the wall and talking with a guy. Ryan’s the most irritating kind of cockblocker in that he always looks so earnest — well, as much as Ryan ever has facial expressions anyway — when he explains to Spencer how he was just trying to look out for him.*
The third time Spencer comes home to find Brendon sat in the back garden with his feet in the pool, reading a soggy paperback and waiting for him, Spencer gives him a key to the house. “Didn’t you get that cut for Haley?” Ryan asks. Spencer just shrugs. “She’s not here that often anyway,” he says.*
“I thought you were going to offer some sage, Jon Walker advice and fix everything!” Brendon said. Jon shrugged a little, grinning. “Hey, I don’t know how to fix this one. I’d say ‘move on’ or ‘find someone else’, but I’m guessing you’ve tried that so…” Jon shrugged again, “I’ve got nothing.”*
In retrospect, asking a newly-conscious Spencer where he’d gotten those tits from probably wasn’t the best idea – the holy shit probably hadn’t helped – but Brendon still doesn’t think he deserved to be punished for it.*
“Jesus Christ,” Spencer says, and stabs his fork into his lettuce. It doesn’t help any. “How the fuck do you misplace a five-liter bottle of copper solution? Especially if it’s five-molar copper solution — the shit is bright blue, Ryan, it’s bright fucking blue.”*
Ryan plans weddings! Just not gay weddings. Ok, maybe just this once.*
“I don’t know,” Patrick said anxiously, hesitating with his hand on the door handle. Through the glass window he could see people milling around inside the room, some settling themselves on the floor, others mingling and introducing each other.*
When you work in retail in a quiet shopping center, there’s not a whole lot to do except gossip and fall in love. Luckily, the latter provides the former, especially when there’s a love hexagon involved.*
Tonight is a hotel night, blessedly, but while the soft pillows and fresh sheets are calling to him like a dreamy sonata, hotel night also means sex-with-Ryan night, and Brendon is not passing that up.*
“Hey, hey, hey,” Jon whispers into Spencer’s ear one morning when it’s raining. “What are your thoughts on babies?”* Sequel to The Way I See It #219.
Jon likes to think his problems began when the coffee shop across the street opened up. In all honesty, though, they began the day Frank moved in with Gerard a month before Valentine’s Day.* Sequel to Jon’s Bookstore.
A funeral is really the wrong place to learn you’ve inherited a business.*
College AU. Ryan’s an English major and he needs a final project, but he gets a little more than he expected: “You are the words to my music, Ryan Ross. You are the chorus to my melody. You are the beauty behind the beast.”*
This isn’t rhythm at all, it’s chaos. It’s fire. And that’s kind of what Brendon is, the bundle of energy and chaos and fire, no rhythm or rhyme, just madness, impossibly beautiful madness.* Sequel to Everybody Needs a Place to Start, prequel to Somewhat Shy of Definition and Still Unheard Though I Listen.
The day that Ryan disappeared was the same day the beagle puppy turned up at the shelter.*
Among Brendon’s finest moments were the first time he played a concerto on the piano at home, the day he discovered Queen, and his seventh kiss. The day he wore a shirt to school that proclaimed in Spanish ‘My mother is a hamster’ was not among these moments. He had quickly learned to use a phrase book for reference whenever wearing garments with slogans in other languages.*
Er, a while back we were goofing around with the Laws of Panic at the Disco and we came up with ten.*
A coda to All I Want For Christmas is You, where Brendon and Spencer were working as elves at the mall.* This picks up on New Year’s Eve.
Brendon and Spencer are college students in Chicago working as elves at Santa’s Christmas Wonderland in the mall. At first, Spencer is jealous because Brendon is great with the screaming and crying kids who come to see Santa. He’s also just a tiny bit irritated by Brendon’s boundless energy and enthusiasm. Then he finds himself developing a crush and pining away for Brendon — only to be confused by Brendon’s sudden affection for Ryan, Spencer’s best friend/roommate and Brendon’s classmate in a music performance class at school. Ryan works at a bookstore in the mall, Jon works at Starbucks, and there are lots of faily boys having cliched misunderstandings.*
Then Spencer finds the link to the crew information, and Ryan leans close, chin on Spencer’s shoulder, to study the high-quality picture of two young men, about their age and involved in a water fight – their chests glistening in the sun, laughing and unaware of the camera. The description says: “Left: Brendon Urie, diving instructor, CMAS M***, right: Jon Walker, captain and diving instructor, CMAS M**.”*
“So, I’m pretty sure she knocked me up before she left,” Brendon said conversationally.*
Brendon is still missing his babies. Ryan Ross is a bitchy pregnant seahorse. And MikeyWay has run away to the Reef, and theh other must brave the unknown to rescue him. Drama! Angst! Less fish puns than the last one! More Mpreg, of sorts. Boys (and girls) as sea creatures.* Sequel to Life in the Rock (and Roll) Pool.
In which there is a wedding, a bubble machine, and Spencer is certainly not dating Brendon Urie.*
Ryan has very rarely been content with his life. He’s been happy and he’s been morose and he’s been everything in between, but he’s always strived for something more. It’s never really been enough.*
I called this the bus!accident fic while I was writing it. Largely because the premise is that Panic gets in a bus accident. I’m clever like that.*
He’s pretty sure if Brendon asks what’s going on with him and Ryan, like really asks, and breaks out his patient, “I’m listening” face and big fucking earnest eyes. Jon’s not going to be able to keep from saying something like “So I kinda really want to fuck me. How’d I go about getting that, you think?”*
Last night they’d talked until they were hoarse and now Spencer’s not sure if there’s anything more to say.*
In which Spencer is antisocial and hates Christmas, Ryan is in love, Jon is planning vacations, and Brendon doesn’t want to spend Christmas alone.*
Bored, small-town schoolteacher Ryan Ross meets Jon Walker, a man with a secret. Things ensue.*
Neither Brendon or Spencer are answering his calls, and it’s frustrating. Because Ryan knows their house will be toasty warm, and he wants in.* Follows Talks Like a Gentleman.
Crack!fic in which Spencer has weird dreams, questions his sexuality, and spends a lot of time hiding things away in boxes in his mind.*
Superpowers AU in which Ryan Ross can’t help reading people’s minds, Jon Walker absorbs energy (and usually controls it perfectly), Spencer Smith shoots ice from his hands and saves melting refreshments, and Brendon Urie sometimes bursts into flames.*
Panic at the Disco AU, in which there is no band – just Spencer and Ryan, ages 15 and 16. It’s a long, hot summer, the kind that young boys dream about; but this one has some changes in store, and Spencer struggles to navigate the shifting terrain.*
Bob feels more like himself on Friday, so of course that’s when Ross sets his room on fire.*
Brendon turns into a koala while on tour in Australia. Really. There’s not much else I can say after that.*
Brendon has a habit of handling Pete the same way he handles his twelve-year-old daughter.*
Spencer couldn’t remember when they’d had the baby discussion. If he had to guess he’d say it must’ve happened some time after Brendon packed up his Chicago apartment and moved to Vegas to live with Spencer. They went through a whole laundry list of discussions that weekend though, ranging from how Brendon liked cold showers in the summer, to how Spencer really hated lukewarm soda.* Pseudo sequel to Shattered Glass and Sounding Drums.
“Well,” Pete says slowly, “did I ever tell you about that time the music was banned?”*
“Oh, fuck.” Pete throws his head back, panting, fingers scrabbling at Patrick’s sweat-slick back. “Fockfuckfuck, Patrick, Patrick.”*
Spencer’s sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed in a thin pair of sleep pants and one of Jon’s old tour t-shirts. The baby’s resting in the cradle of his folded legs, her head on his thigh, her tiny hands fisted in the air as Spencer feeds her from a bottle. Follows that “Jon/Spencer baby thing.”*
One of Mikey’s wacky inventions gets used by accident. Mayhem and toddlers ensue.* Sequel to the Negotiation Limerick File.
“Okay, this is what I’ve figured out so far. I’m stuck in some sort of hell that looks vaguely like a Sandra Bullock movie.”*
Patrick is a widower and young father. Pete is an advertising exec with a failing relationship. When Patrick’s daughter makes a call to a radio shrink, lives intersect and shenanigans ensue.*
This is how it starts: Brendon wakes up in Ryan’s bed for the 47th time in a row and rolls over to look wistfully at Ryan, as is his custom. For about fifteen minutes in the morning, Brendon has time to just look and pretend that Ryan doesn’t have a wall, chain link fence, barbed wire and a moat around him. But this time, on the 47th morning, Ryan isn’t there.* Sequel to Back to Where You Are.
Spencer’s day started with high-pitched screaming, and went downhill from there.*
Gerard looks up and sees Frank’s head poking around the corner of the door to his office.*
It’s the end of the world as these kids know it, and Gabe Saporta is throwing a party.*
In a wold where werewolves, vampires, and humans live together in shaky and relative peace, Spencer finds a boy on the side of the road, naked, bruised, and sporting vampire bites. Stopping to save him might just be the dumbest thing Spencer’s ever done… or the best.*
In which there is broken glass, a sick drummer, a story, a festival, and a song.*
‘Later, later, soon,” becomes a whole lot later and not so much soon.* A sequel to Hey Gravity! or at least a continuation of sorts.
Fashion world AU. All our favorite boys have jobs in the fashion world. An outtake from a much larger verse.*
Bob Bryar is not dreamy. Bob Bryar looks like the kind of guy who could fuck you up in a back alley, but doesn’t care enough about you to actually do it. Greta has had the most inconvenient crush on Bob Bryar since freshman year.*
Frank used to live a perfectly normal life in New Jersey with his babbo, sister Anny and nephew Matthew; but everything changed the day he started working at Mode. This is the story of an ordinary day at the office.*
Joe refuses to be charmed. Joe’s neighbor is some sort of drunkard or druggie, okay, and he smells like wood varnish and burnt hair and Joe really, really hopes he doesn’t have an explosive meth lab set up in his garage.*
Spencer has some issues with Jon, but he’s too busy to worry about them because people are trying to kill his band.* Follows the Negotiation Limerick File and The Grasshopper Unit.
He has about eight minutes left. This is also, coincidentally, how long Brendon has left to live if he does not return Spencer’s aftershave.*
“Responsibility” should be Spencer Smith’s middle name (except it’s James). After all, not many people would sacrifice their lives to run the family bakery and raise their twin sisters. But now the girls are grown, and Spencer has to learn to put his own needs first! And Brendon, the Sweet Spot’s newest regular, might just be what Spencer’s looking for. But will Brendon’s past get in the way of their present?*
Somehow, “Oh, hey, you know how I told you I’m a quarter Irish and a quarter German? Well I forgot to mention that the other half is Demon,” is a little hard to voice.*
“Spencer,” Brendon said slowly, looking at each of them in turn, “what exactly did you wish for?”*
Spencer really wishes that “sorry, I had to slay this vampire” was an excuse he could actually use for not having finished his homework. It’s not like it’s not true.* (AU in which the Panic boys are still in high school, and Spencer finds out he’s destined to be a Slayer, a la the Buffy verse.)
Brendon’s wish backfires and he turns into Spencer’s drum kit. As you do.*
“Look, Spencer, look!” Spencer, who had been trying to read that issue of Kerrang he’d had stuffed in his bunk for the past four months but never had the time to get to, dodged Brendon’s probing hands with practiced ease. “No, Brendon.”*
The AU where Panic is a wedding band called The First Wives Club. Brendon named them. It’s okay though; Pete’s wedding band is called Lloyd Dobler’s Boombox, but only because it kind of stuck.*
Special Collector’s edition of Axe: The Horror of Man, complete with new techniques to master and a special making-of documentary! Or something. The Game Designers AU.
Brendon and Spencer meet each other in a first year philosophy class that they are taking as an outside elective. They both sit in the front row.*
Brendon and Haley are the biggest gossips on tour, best known for their stealthy, ninja-like song-writing abilities.* Sequel to The Best Thing Since Ducks.
“So,” Spencer says, and they all stare at him. “Pete’ll be in touch.”*
Brendon really loves his band. Unfortunately, they all have amazing, hot boyfriends.*
Like everything, it starts in Vegas.*
The fifth time Brendon jerks off to a guy, he calls up Shane and says, “Spencer Smith’s beard made me gay.”*
Rodney is sort of angered beyond all possible comprehension at the new batch of scientists.*
“It takes three licks, dude,” Joe says, and Brendon nods, says, “Duh,” because he’s a freaking wise owl, he knows these things.*
Spencer’s not quite sure what Brendon is doing, but he thinks it could be considered flirting.*
It’s not like it actually changes that much. Spencer is still his friend and his bandmate and his Guitar Hero sidekick and his main rival for apple juice in the morning. It’s just now Brendon is aware that Spencer is made up of squares and smooth circles and he wants to fucking touch them.*
“I hate Valentine’s Day,” Patrick says while tearing into the Taco Bell bag the runner brought to the studio for lunch. He extracts a handful of packets and tries to decide what level of hot sauce he wants, choosing the hottest. He’ll go for broke; perhaps the sauce will burn away the sour taste brought upon by thoughts of Valentine’s Day.*
Joe Trohman doesn’t like dudes. He shouldn’t even have to say it. It’s implied in his name, like an invisible footnote or something.*
“Hey, baby girl,” Brendon says softly. He thinks he should have thought of something more profound to welcome his daughter in to the world.*
“This okay?” Brendon asked a moment later, breaking off from kissing Spencer to slide his hands down Spencer’s chest.*
You may have to search around a little bit. There isn’t really a master page for this fic.
In which there are more than three movie references, and Spencer and Bob swap bodies.*
Brendon shifts his weight from foot to foot, and tries to keep his expression casually disinterested as he scans the bulletin board outside of the student activities office.*
Brendon used to be sure that Bank of America was the most fucked up place he’d ever work in his entire life. Now? Now he’s three days into a position at First Star Savings Bank that’s further out in the country and further separated from reality.*
They started flirting the first time they met, when Pete took Spencer and Brendon to see MCR.*
Frank is an asshole sometimes. But that doesn’t mean that he can’t learn things about himself and other people. He just needs some encouragement sometimes.*
Bob slammed Spencer into the wall, pinning him with his wrists over his head. Spencer groaned as Bob scraped his teeth across the exposed skin over his collar bone, thrusting his hips out only to have Bob press him even harder into the wall, using his whole body as leverage against Spencer.*
It turns out that happily ever after really only is something that happens in fairytales, and life as a vampire slayer is certainly not one of those.* Sequel to How the West Was Won (And Where It Got Us)
She down Brendon had seen her staring, because Spencer hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off her for the rest of the shoot. She’s pretty sure everyone had seen her staring.*
Spencer could be ‘silently stoic’… he pulled it off ideally, so well that an Oscar would have his name written all over its faux-gold body, but he could never imagine being ‘stoic with a large voice inside his stomach’, or ‘happy with a laugh that sounded like something out of a 1950s laugh track.’*
On tour, everything gets found out, and the stuff that doesn’t gets made up anyway. But tour is a good time to try things you might not have before.*
“I didn’t want last night to happen until after it did. But maybe I want it even more now.” Brendon clears his throat like he’s presenting a project to the class and he’s run out of breath. Spencer is expecting more words laced together, another calm sentence, when Brendon leans over the divider between their bodies, tilted towards him, and kisses him wholly.
He’s wearing a red hoodie, tight girl-jeans and has a backpack slung over his shoulder. He’s also completely making out with a scraggly looking dude with greasy flat-ironed hair.*
Bob wakes up to the sound of drumming. It takes him a few seconds to differentiate between the drumming that is always in his head and the noise he can hear, but when he realises that it is genuine drumming, he gets out of bed to investigate.*
Frank takes a quick look in his rear view mirror, runs his fingers through his messy hair and then smiles at his reflection as he slides the key out of the ignition. He’s really fucking late, but that’s never a good reason to look anything less than hot. He grabs his cargo bag out of the passenger seat and flips the automatic lock on his second hand Honda and then walks as quickly as his short legs will carry him to the entrance of Penny Lane.* Retelling of Never Been Kissed.
Pete probably shouldn’t have told the world that Patrick Stump had no game, and he definitely shouldn’t have told Panic at the Disco. Because Patrick Stump is an evil mastermind, and he knows exactly how to make Pete admit the error of his ways.*
“What? Oh, geez, kid.” Gerard laughs, and it’s not mean, but the kid half-flinches back, a repressed sort of reaction, mostly suppressed but still visible. Gerard notices for the first time the way the line of his hips is sharp enough to cut paper. “Ryan,” he says, meeting Gerard’s eyes again. “My name is Ryan.”*
“This is political,” Gerard announces, and kisses him.*
Pete sometimes wanted to form an “only-boy-in-the-band” club. He could ask Ryan to join.*
Frank the lonely barista and Gerard the loyal consumer/art student. Guest appearances by Patrick the shift supervisor and Brendon the romantic.*
Brian is not entirely sure how he ended up with a half-naked Brendon Urie in his lap, just like he is unsure of how My Chem ended up on tour with Panic at the Disco in the first place.*
In which Jon and Spencer work for a film company and are shooting a documentary on the Skylines and Turnstiles tour, feat. My Chemical Romance, Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, The Academy Is…*
Brendon loves touring. He loves touring and he loves their bus and he loves his band and he loves The Academy and he loves the UK and he loves Jaggermeister.*
Spencer hangs out with Billie and Gerry. They go to girls’ school! They are bitches! It’s a very cool girls’ school, so there’s no uniforms and some classes are outdoors and they go on field trips to Mexico.
The first year they’d been together, Bob had called Spencer on Easter and said, “Happy Easter?” because he wasn’t really clear on exactly what Spencer’s brand of Christianity was. It didn’t seem to involve as much bitterness as Ryan’s, nor as much angst as Brendon’s, but it wasn’t exactly as lackadaisical as Jon’s, either, from what Bob could tell.*
He wishes he could pinpoint when it had happened, when he’d stopped watching Ryan’s mouth and started watching Spencer’s hands.*
When it comes to Brendon, though, all the normal guy-like ‘way to go man’ platitudes fail him. With Brendon, all Spencer can be is seethingly fucking jealous.*
A drycleaners, a hair salon, the park bench that brings them together, and their various friends and enemies; one summer at the mall.*
“Hotel night!” Brendon chirps, inserting herself into the middle of the cluster of people and bags in the lobby. “I call Spencer!”*
Brendon and Spencer go on a cruise to escape their problems. They end up finding more than rest and relaxation.*
Hospital AU. Spencer Smith has moved to Chicago to work at Chicago General with his best friend, one Ryan Ross. Here he meets some hilarious staff members, makes a lot of friends, and drinks a lot of coffee.
When Pete Wentz decides to write a soap opera, he doesn’t do it small; he does it HUGE and gets everyone involved. But is the real soap opera the one playing out for the television audience with Spanish villas and pirates and evil, sinister betrothals or the one behind the scenes that involves pill poppers, awesome partiers, live chickens, romantic gay love, wacky Three’s Company Too mix ups and betrayal of the worst and most heinous kind? Well, that’s kind of up to the crazy mix of actors, musicians, various crew and production members to decide for themselves. Even if they are the ones in the thick of it.
In the year 2030 The United States is a third world country and Chicago is divided into sectors that strain relations between the social classes to the breaking point. Pete is a member of an underground movement; Patrick is the sheltered son of a rich business man. They’ve nothing in common but when circumstances force them together something that was missing in each of them clicks into place.*
The diner! au. the boys live and work in the small town of paradise, nevada. some were born there, some traveled there looking for something. it’s easy enough to settle into a routine, but equally easy to get lost in that routine. spencer in particular. he’s grumpy, generally dissatisfied with life, and likes books more than people. this is what happens when someone comes along to change that.*
After the show, there’s the usual pile-up in the lounge to get some food and watch a movie.*
In which Brendon and Spencer are juniors in high school. Ryan, the plucky best friend and Mr. Hall, the history teacher, also star.*
Brendon Urie would call himself an ordinary guy. Spencer Smith would call him stupidly hot, if he weren’t about to destroy Brendon’s career. A rich, successful journalist and food critic, Spencer aims to write a scathing review of Brendon’s little muffin and cupcake shop. He never mixes business with pleasure. But the secrets Brendon’s keeping intrigue Spencer, and his naivety has caught Spencer off guard. He’s entranced with the little muffin cupcake shop and his neighbour Jon’s coffee shop. What’s happened to him? He’s being ridiculous! The Christmas-coated town has gone to his head. Spencer’s best friend, literary critic Ryan Ross, thinks that the small-town boy has unlocked the city slicker’s heart.*
The room looks exactly like it did the day Brendon moved in, now that it’s empty of all of his and Spencer’s stuff. He’s sitting on his stripped bed, and the plastic mattress covering crinkles every time he shifts his weight.*
Swept from her dismal present in the 1990s (facing unemployment and the singles scene), Phoebe Turlow takes a wrong turn at a hotel (while attending a “free” vacation in the Caribbean, sponsored by a condo company) and winds up in the seventeenth century in the company of a sexy, witty pirate named Duncan Rourke. As if Rourke does not have enough to do fighting the British in the American Revolution, he has to determine whether short haired, strange speaking Phoebe is a spy, a witch, or worse. Instead, he falls in love with her.* Harlequin bands.
Gaslights burned steadily along the street, lighting patches of overnight fog a sickly yellow-brown. A few streets over the music halls and bars were roaring. Business was just drunk and rowdy enough to be spilling into the streets, but hadn’t gotten bad enough that the police had been called in for the nightly roust.*
Every summer since he was six, Ryan went to Connecticut to stay with his Aunt Eleanore.*
Brendon and Spencer wake up together in a motel bed in Vegas with hangovers, no recollection of the night before and a marriage certificate. What started as an accidental marriage becomes a marriage of convenience, but could it grow into something more?*
Brendon throws his arms up over his head and clings tightly to the headboard, gasping and moaning as Travis fucks him hard and deep.*
Marine Biology student Patrick Stump was looking to get away from everything when he signed up for an internship, but he didn’t expect to get sent all the way to southern Ireland. He’s been assigned to work with Pete Wentz and his whale watching tour business, and though he’d never admit it, the town and its crazy inhabitants may hold exactly what he’s been searching for.*
Brendon doesn’t know what wakes him up. The bus is still moving and it looks dark beyond the two inch gap left between his curtain and the wall. But something woke him up, so he lays still and listens. He can just hear the tinny sound of Jon’s ipod above him, and Ryan’s rustling around in his bunk. He hears a high-pitched squeak, a low laugh, and then “shhh.” Oh, right, Keltie’s with them.*
It still made Brendon’s heart race every time Spencer so much as touched his hand, and he was sure that the hearts in his eyes were getting stuck there.*
“You have no idea what you’re doing, okay?” Ryan says in exasperation, blowing out a huffy breath. “I’m just saying. I think…I might know a guy.”*
So maybe they have half an hour until bus call, and neither of them have even showered since they got there last night, and it’s really kind of disgusting how much sex they’ve had. But Brendon has Spencer to herself. In a hotel room. For the first time in, like, twenty cities.*
It’s about three a.m. when the guy comes in, Frank guesses, because he’s just getting the itch for a cigarette but knows he doesn’t have another break coming for a while. The guy is young, although not that young, not a college kid on his first strip joint tour or hazing for a frat, and anyway he doesn’t look like the type.* Sequel to Straight Up Chicago Style.
It’s a Harlequin romance novel, starring bandboys. Yes, that involves many of the clinchy, shmoopy cliches you’re thinking of. In which Brendon is Spencer’s secretary, and somehow Spencer has never really noticed him before.*
If you wanted to, if you were so inclined, you could place the blame squarely on William – in fact, William himself would be eager to accept it, if only because the story ended so well – but in the beginning, in the beginning, if you blamed William, you would not, actually, be correct.*
Art School AU. Brendon Urie, street artist from New York City gets and offer he cannot refuse – a full scholarship to a reputable art school in Chicago. After leaving his two room mates, the only family he has, Brendon has to learn to adjust to the new environment and art scene. He finds himself entangled in the webs of friendships and relationships as he meets new people. This is a year in their shoes.*
“Dude,” Brendon says, lazily. He’s sprawled across the couch, his feet hanging over the edge. “It’s cold. You should totally come over here and be my blanket.”* Coda to Thereafter You Have It (And Tango Makes Three)
Brendon Urie is the newest addition to Pete Wentz’s Decaydance music label, and Spencer Smith is Pete’s most trusted assistant. After Pete turns Spencer’s carefully laid plans for Brendon’s publicity upside down at the last minute, Brendon and Spencer are left hiding out at Pete’s villa for the weekend.*
Spencer had barely even heard of rugby when he tried out for the team. It was just a way of killing time until Ryan was done with his stupid school magazine. Helping Ryan sift through the lame emo poetry submissions was only funny the first few times. But their west-coast prep school doesn’t play soccer or football, so the rugby team turns out to be the coolest thing around, and suddenly Spencer’s the school’s most popular player. Then Spencer meets Brendon, and everything changes.*
It begins with Spencer sitting in his boxers and an old t-shirt in their kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee and frowning over some paperwork. “Fucking math,” he grouses, tapping one bare foot against the floorboards. Brendon is pretty fond of their floorboards; he’s not a crazy interior decorator, like some people, but he likes to think he has a certain touch.*
It’s Brendon’s fault, so Spencer doesn’t feel bad at all groaning really loudly and complaining. “It hurts,” he says, feeling whiny. “It hurts and it sucks.”*
William is not entirely certain how this happened, how he became a veritable magnet for downtrodden orphans, but he’s going to blame John.*
Pete and Brendon swap houses after break-ups. The Holiday AU.*
The totally true story of how Spencer Smith joined Patrick & Brendon’s Magic Friend Band.*
Every day he texts Frank that he’s dying a slow, painful death, and Frank always ignores him and sends him pics of Gerard’s nostrils or dog shit or something. Frank’s an asshole. He has no idea why they’re friends, and Spencer misses him so much sometimes he feels like punching something that’ll punch back.
Brendon likes leaning on tall things, like lampposts and Gabe Saporta. Which is probably why he wakes up naked, duct taped to a Big Wheel.*
“Yeah. Yes. I’m asking for your hand in my ass, Spence. I am more than okay.”*
Spencer Smith has the ultimate playboy lifestyle, moving from one hot person to the next. So why would he want Brendon, his dorky friend who loves him from afar? Spencer needs a convenient spouse — and Brendon is his first choice. Shocked at Spencer’s proposal, Brendon has doubts about the crazy plan — until Spencer gives him a taste of just how hot they can be together.*
How had he managed to get this far in life without realizing exactly what it was that turned him on?*
Spencer glares at Ryan, who is slowly turning purple and clutching the table to hold himself up, his body shaking with laughter, and decides that he really, really needs a new best friend.*
It’s the end of the world as these kids know it, and Gabe Saporta is throwing the party.*