He turns me to gold in the sunlight

When What Not To Wear’s Clint and Natasha were contacted by SHIELD to take on one of their best as a client, Clint didn’t think anything of it except a desire to help a fellow vet. The shiver of premonition

Cliche Bingo

A collection of clint/phil works based on cliched plotlines.

Series || In Heat

You’re in heat,” Clint blurts out as he steps into Phil’s office late on a Friday afternoon, the realization so stark and undeniable that the words are out of his mouth before he has finished thinking them.

Series || A Lunch Counter Love Story

Take one ex-circus performer, one homicide detective, a dash of meddling cohorts, a heavy helping of pie recipes, mix well, and bake until somebody gets a date.

My Hands Say I Love You, Write It On Your Skin

“An old tattoo artist.” His own words echoed in his head. How did he even get here? A tattoo artist at the age of 42. Doing a job meant to be done by a 20-something-year-old stud, in a too-tight wife

Home Improvement

“Did you shoot me?” Phil asks, confused. “In my own defense, I didn’t notice you standing behind me,” Clint says. “In my own defense, I was standing behind you.” Phil sits up with a small groan. Clint tries to offer

Ev’ry Time, I Die a Little

‘When the sadistic fuckers bring out the electric-shock gloves and soak him in icy water and then punch him over and over with said gloves until he’s biting his lips bloody to rein in his screams, Coulson really does wish

Mama Coulson Knows Best

Agent Phil Coulson has always been entirely honest with his parents about his work. He hasn’t necessarily gone into detail, but they know enough. The one thing he will wax poetic about is his asset Clint Barton, the sniper known

While You Were Skyping

It’s a cliche wrapped up in a trope. Meet by chance, be my fake boyfriend, maybe fall in love when you’re not looking.

Series || That Boy Is a Monster

He hadn’t even noticed it at first; not until Coulson walked towards the dining table, boxes of food and chopsticks loaded in his hands, and Clint had followed the line of his body down and down and down and— In

As You Are

When Phil accidentally comes out to Clint after a trying couple days, Clint takes this as his opportunity to finally make a move.

Series || Birds and Bridges

Clint is happy with his life. He loves his job at the Parks department, loves the birds he works with, and loves his weekly lunches with Natasha. But then Phil Coulson stumbles into his life, and Clint realizes that what’s

Don’t Mention Demi Moore

‘You’ll drown their roots, watering them that much,’ Phil says. Given the circumstances, it’s not terribly surprising that Clint drops the coffee mug he’s been using to water the houseplants and jumps a foot backwards in sheer astonishment.

A Little Bit of Your Taste (In My Mouth)

Coffee Shop AU. In which Clint owns the coffee shop that makes the best damn coffee Phil has ever tasted, and things only go downhill from there.

Series || Homeless Clint ‘Verse

Since he was abandoned by his brother and then the circus, Clint Barton has resigned himself to making his own way in the world. So when he ends up living on the streets of New York in the middle of

Good Hands and Stamina

Phil Coulson saying, “Christ, all I want is a man with stamina, good hands, and maybe a couple of joints to share, and a locked room where I don’t have to do anything complicated.”

Back to the Place You Are

Phil Coulson was sitting two tables over from Clint and wearing his Dress Blues. This was making concentrating on anything else pretty much impossible.

Pine Lake Oasis

When SHIELD gets intel that an arms dealer might soon be receiving Chitauri technology, Fury sends Clint and Coulson undercover to establish surveillance, ingratiate themselves with the arms dealer and his right hand man, and possibly intercept the sale. The

And Eternity in an Hour

When Phil Coulson is attacked and left for dead, he is rescued and cared for by an unusual man who looks like a beast. As Phil heals, he learns that Clint is part of a community hidden below the city,

Male Order Bride

Agent Coulson’s mission is simple: fly to Amsterdam; meet up with a fake mail order bride (a member of Dutch intelligence); fake a relationship; intercept stolen weapons plans; get home in one piece. But it’s the kind of operation where

I Take My Children Everywhere (But They Always Find Their Way Home)

“Oh my god,” Phil groans, smacking a hand over his face just as a tiny Tony Stark marches up to him and very determinedly and with great gusto, kicks him in the shin.

The Job Fair

Clint isn’t entirely sure that it’s a coincidence that the car breaks down right outside of Phil’s hometown.

Catch Your Voice

Clint keeps telling himself he’s not obsessed with Coulson. From the way Natasha keeps laughing at him, she’s not buying it either. But it’s only a crush if you know what the other guy actually looks like, right?

All I’ve Got Left to Believe In

Clint Barton is not Peter Parker’s big brother.

Hitch a Ride On the Back of a Butterfly

When Loki attacks SHIELD and brainwashes Clint Barton, Phil Coulson’s first priority is to get their daughter to safety. After that, there’s just leading the ground defence against the Chitauri, organising a group of brand new SHIELD recruits into a


The Battle of New York is only hours past, but Steve Rogers’ battle to assimilate to his new world has just begun. Steve realizes his frosty existence since his awakening is every bit as debilitating as the Arctic ice he


Tony comes into an unexpected legacy when he turns forty, and Gibbs meets a rat who knows a little too much about his sex life. Once word gets out about Tony, there’s an alphabet war going on for his talents

Series || Phil Coulson’s Case Files of the Toasterverse

Phil has problems with these people.* This is basically the best thing that ever happened.

A Comforting Presence

It starts with Clint, and then from there, every time an Avenger gets hurt (physically or otherwise), they seem to show up at Steve’s doorstep. Eventually he stops bothering to lock it (though Tony breaking in to his apartment every