crosby/malkin

Pass It On

Ninety percent of every problem could be solved by a robot who texted NO to hockey players on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Sidney didn’t have a robot.

To Love and To Cherish

Sidney the wedding planner takes up with Geno, pastry chef extraordinaire.

Des Plus Brillants Exploits

“Vancouver!” Sid turns and shouts at the last second as she goes through the doors. “Vancouver!” Geno yells back.* Faaaaaaaaaaavorite.

Strangers When We Met

The summer before Zhenya starts in the NHL, he meets an adorable tourist who’s too irresistible not to take home.

This Sweet Work Worth

Goalies are strange. Sidney Crosby is no exception to that rule.

Birds of a Feather

Sid refuses to be jealous of something that’s two and a half feet high and can’t play hockey. OR: The Pittsburgh Zoo named some penguins after the Penguins, and no one will let Sid forget the one named after him

Paws of Life

Life in a sleepy small town is a welcome change of pace for Sidney. Eager to leave his old city life behind, he’s ready to settle into a quiet routine where the stress of his job peaks at planning a

All Great and Precious Things

He opens the door, expecting to see Taylor or Matty or even his mom. Instead, he finds Geno. “Hi,” Geno says. “Can I come in?”

All I Need Is a Fraction of Your Happy Heart

Sid, in a masterstroke of rebellion, leaves the NHL draft and gets signed by Metallurg Magnitogorsk. Things don’t really go as he thought they would, but it’s an enjoyable ride.

Game Plan

Unlike Nealsy, Evgeni can cook his own food when he has it. He’s perfectly capable of making breakfast. His kitchen is well-equipped, and he’s got some good basic cooking skills down. In short, he’s not going to starve to death

Semantic Shift

“He asked what some of the words meant, on the signs, what they yell. I told him. He’s a fan of Princess Sidney especially.”

You By My Side

It’s not that no one touches Sid. Granted, most of it is through layers of pads or a helmet or gloves, but he gets touched. Even off the ice, Duper will bump against him, nudge with him an elbow; Flower

Thou and You

There’s no way to tell just by looking at someone whether or not they are a magician. Some are more obvious than others, but Evgeni has been introduced to thousands of people since coming to London and he has never

Scattered Pieces of My Mind

After one scandal too many, Patrick Kane gets traded. Eventually it stops being the worst thing that’s ever happened to him.

Careful Cooking

Their supply guy has totally fucked them. Sid doesn’t know if it was just an off day at the warehouse, or if Ovie insulted the guy’s mother again, but whatever the cause, there’s a metric fuckton of peas in the

Highway Unicorn

He saw the horn poking out from the pony’s head, golden and straight and somehow delicate-looking despite the empty tuna can hanging off of it. The unicorn horn. “The fuck,” Sidney said out loud, his eye skipping from the horn

Series || Take It Slow But Don’t Warn Me

Andrew is curled up in the corner between the bathtub and the sink, breathing hard and too fast with his head on his knees.

King and Lionheart

Sidney’s wedding day doesn’t go quite as he’d planned. When he’d bothered to imagine it at all, he’d thought of a nice June wedding in Nova Scotia, outdoors with the sun streaming down. He hadn’t imagined this hurried affair on

Two to Tango

Sid’s only ever felt he was meant to be two places: on the ice, and in front of a classroom. But he looks at the penguins, then at Geno, and wonders if Geno is right.*

Cardinalis

Before Geno, Sid had seen approximately three places in Pittsburgh with any frequency. They were, in order of how much time he’d spent in them from greatest to least: the Lemieux house / guesthouse, the Iceoplex, and the South Side

Pond Ice and the In Between

“I thought your name was Zhenya,” Sid says, which—right, they didn’t talk about that, he just read it on the name tag and also probably butchered the pronunciation beyond repair. He thinks, maybe, that he should have only two states

Good with Children, Must Want Extensive Russian Support Network

“Sidney, what did you do?” Gonch sounded a little upset himself.*

This Cold Harbor Now Home

The one person Geno wants to build a family with already has one.*

Scared of All This Needing

Geno had never liked his hands— too big and too clumsy for a surgeon. He makes them do what he needs, a precision born of patience and practice, but he’d always seen them as an impediment. He looked down at

The Work of Wings

Sidney Crosby gets hit on the head and wakes up with extra memories.*

Dr Kane, Relationship Therapist

Kaner is so good at this relationship junk that he thinks he’ll start counseling.*

Up With the Birds

“Pens PR wants to pimp us out for charity,” Sidney says when he can finally focus on Geno’s blank look. Geno still looks sweetly confused, and Sidney doesn’t know if it’s the sex, the sleepiness, the English, or some combination

Right On the Limits

Sidney groans, because this is ridiculous. “I think I’m having an allergic reaction,” he says.*

Morning to Wake You

I’ve been calling this The Sexual Misadventures of Sidney Crosby forever, and that gives you an idea, but just in case: in which Sidney wins a gold medal, has sex (a lot), falls in love (twice), and breaks a bunch