So You Were Never a Saint

“I think Bond’s trying to be your friend,” Eve tells him. “…well,” Q says slowly, “this is a new and disturbing development.”

You Know You Have a Permanent Piece of My Medium-Sized American Heart

“Hey Hermes!” The ambient suspicion level in the Rec ratcheted up significantly. Kapoor was disturbingly cheerful. “We’ve sent you some mission updates in the data dump, but Mitch and I wanted to personally let you know—” Mitch visibly rolled his

The Hermes Mutiny Golf Club

for gusface’s prompt: I want to know what the fuck Sean Bean’s character was doing at a golf course with kids. IS HE NOW A GOLF INSTRUCTOR? If you’ve read the book and there’s an actual answer to this question

Series || Squad Goals

When James Bond and Q get turned into children, Tanner is the only one who can look after them. He’s not sure why, either.


Blue doesn’t know where they are.

Pushing Boundaries

Owen Grady had always had a talent for animals. Like his grandfather. It was a talent that ran in the families. Masrani Global recruited him to train raptors. It was an intriguing, novel idea, something only a crazy or insane

That Escalated Quickly

Tyler eats a whole brownie with her hand cupped beneath her chin, trying not to get crumbs in her boobs. “Slow your roll, girl,” Jordie says through a mouthful of chocolate. “These are kind of strong.” “All I have is


Owen Grady had always had a talent for animals. Like his grandfather. It was a talent that ran in the families. Masrani Global recruited him to train raptors. It was an intriguing, novel idea, something only a crazy or insane

Aunts Aren’t Gentlemen

“First things first,” Tony says. “I loved A Knight’s Tale.”

The Butterfingers G. D. I. Stark Guide to Problem Solving

Tony begins to notice that things are going missing from his workshop… and discovers that his bots have been hiding a very, very big secret from him. Or rather, a very, very small one. In which Dummy is a kleptomaniac,

Series || Team Bed

Snapshots of a team preparing the Team Bed for the season.

A Short List of Relevant Skills and Abilities

They’re very good at a lot of things, but none of those things are very good.

It Takes Two Thieves, a Maniac, and an Assassin…

By unspoken agreement, they take turns watching over Groot. It’s not an exciting job at first.

Floor 37

Mike’s last three days of indentured servitude to Louis (and whoever Louis farms him out to) are spent in the service of an elderly lawyer named Jack, who poached him from a partner and knows more than he’s letting on.

Saving Connor

Harry’s brother Connor is the Boy-Who-Lived, and Harry has devoted himself to protecting him – by being ordinary. But certain people aren’t content to let Harry hide in the shadows.*

It’s Shoe Time

The first time he’d spotted the blue slippers with bells on, Jack had just raised his eyebrows and sent them packing along with North’s musical procession. Unfortunately for Jack, North’s elves are nothing if not determined.*


“I vastly underestimated Mycroft’s capacity for guilt,” John says.*

Is This A Raid?

“Oh my God, Scott put soy in the cart, he put fake meat in the cart, he’s trying to kill us all.”*

Nerds of the Earth, Take Note!

Warning: The Turing test was harmed in the production of this motion picture.*

Some Nights

Derek pisses Stiles off, and Stiles issues an “open-door policy” for the teenaged werewolves in his life. (Which is, really, more of an open-window policy, because werewolves, pffft!) After that it is, like, all werewolf all the time. Seriously.*

Series || Live with the Wolves And You Learn to Howl

When Sheriff Stilinski learns about his son’s double life as a human member of the local werewolf pack, he also learns that families are made when they’re least expected.*

Series || 不甘寂寞 (buganjimo)

Mary spams Steve with instagrams from her flight-attendant travels.*

Degrees of Separation

Oh god, what if Jarvis infected Dummy with, with emotions. Jesus Christ.*

Loud and Clear

“Stop repeating everything, the ear-buds pick up the sound!” Alec is beginning to suspect that the others don’t understand just how good his tech is.*


AU in which Kirk is deaf. So basically he has no dad, is a child with an abusive step-father and distant mother, gets shipped to Tarsus IV and had to deal with that mess, gets shipped back to the abusive

Hard Cheese

“Saxon was all enraged and savaged the ever-lovin’ fuck out of the poor cheese.”*

Fortunate Son

Fourteen across was auspicious, and he was writing in the p when the left side of the plane sagged out from under them, and they dipped what felt like ten feet all at once. David grabbed for his coffee as

How to Dispose of a Mars

“Elizabeth,” he said, aggrieved. “She calls me. At my house. When I refused to answer her questions, she hacked my Tivo and erased all my backlogged Simpsons episodes. She snuck off-world once disguised as an adolescent Jaffa. With her around,

You Can Lead a Parker to Water, But You Can’t Keep Her From Blowing Up the Stream

You’d think by now they’d realize that Parker just doesn’t think the way they do.*