realperson

Flex to Fit

After that, Harry couldn’t stop thinking about how he could take all of Liam, how he could prep himself and train his body to relax and flex around Liam’s enormous cock, letting every inch sink inside. He figured the best

Sweet, Sweet Love

“Sweet, sweet love,” Jamie repeats, because really there’s no option here but to own it. He raises an eyebrow. “You in?” He leans closer. “Dare you.” “Oh,” Tyler says, sitting up straight. “It is on.”

The Night Is Ours

It is their last event together, the last time they’ll promote Kingsman together before they won’t see each other for quite a while. So Taron comes up with a way to make it memorable.

Room Service

Colin and Taron in a hotel room, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Double A Batteries

Written for the prompt: “I, uh, basically want Eichel to blow wide-eyed girl!McDavid’s mind. And for him to be kind of a dick about it.” Connor’s attempt to buy herself a vibrator is thwarted, but there’s still a happy ending.

Hold for the Applause

The thing is, once Taron sees it, he can’t stop seeing it. (or: the one where Hartwin is to blame for the Firtherton.)

Drinking in the Shallow Water

“I’m not pining,” Colin protests, and then his phone lights up with a text message. Livia takes one look at Colin’s face and erupts into giggles. “Darling, you’re most definitely pining.”

Found It Alright for Kicks

It’s something he never intended to bring up, except the next time he sees Colin he says, almost entirely autonomous of brain function: “It’s not a proper Colin Firth movie without a sex scene, is it?” Colin is standing beside

You, I Just Want You

Jeff blushes bright red. “You’re kinda crazy,” he says, which makes Eric laugh. “Maybe,” he says. “So. You wanna grab dinner or something, so I can flirt with you some more?” “Yes,” says Jeff immediately. “I mean,” he adds, trying

Let Me Be Your Good Night

“Y’know,” Tyler says slyly, like she’s about to be a little shit. “You don’t have to go down on me if you don’t want to.” Jamie can hear her grin, and he groans, dropping his forehead to her collarbone. “I

Closet Thing to a Midlife Crisis

Of all the things said about his status as a sex symbol in the press, this is perhaps the one thing that Colin concedes wholeheartedly is true: he’s a fucking great kisser.

Sink These Roots Deep

The trick to not getting broken, Tyler decides early on, in the first winter he’s on his own, is to not care about anybody so much that they can break you. He manages to follow that rule, right up until

Rope ’em and Ride ’em

Jordie is a totally supportive brother, which is why he’s hiring Jamie a stripper.

Pass It On

Ninety percent of every problem could be solved by a robot who texted NO to hockey players on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Sidney didn’t have a robot.

Lost My Fear of Falling

The guy behind him always puts his feet on the rungs under Jamie’s chair. Which would be fine if the guy could sit still. But apparently he can’t because every class like clockwork he’s there, jiggling his legs and making

Up and Out

It’s not like Jamie wants to have a dick all the time.

Good Lines

Tyler doesn’t quite know what to make of Jamie.

Twelve Moons

“Come hang out with us this summer,” Jordie said. “It’ll be fun. You can meet our family, do some fishing.” This? Is absolutely not what Tyler signed on for.

To Love and To Cherish

Sidney the wedding planner takes up with Geno, pastry chef extraordinaire.

Series || The Pieces

The one where Michael can’t seem to stop cheating on girls… and then he dates Ryan Lochte.

Something Good and Right and Real

Jamie stares at him for a long moment, blinking slowly. “You…what?” “Told her I’d bring you to the wedding and tell everyone the story of how we realized we’re in love?” Tyler repeats. “It’s in Florida. This weekend. Uh, I

Des Plus Brillants Exploits

“Vancouver!” Sid turns and shouts at the last second as she goes through the doors. “Vancouver!” Geno yells back.* Faaaaaaaaaaavorite.

Our Bridges Were Already Burned

Jamie’s sure he can hide exactly how much he feels, even when Tyler offers to add sex into their friendship. He can do buddies.

Like a Classic

So: due to a series of complicated and improbable events involving some sort of life debt and signed promise from two generations ago, it was decreed that Patrick had to marry the Crown Prince of Canada.

That Escalated Quickly

Tyler eats a whole brownie with her hand cupped beneath her chin, trying not to get crumbs in her boobs. “Slow your roll, girl,” Jordie says through a mouthful of chocolate. “These are kind of strong.” “All I have is

Obvious From the Start

It’s not like Patrick even likes radio, because he hasn’t really listened to anything that’s not on his iPod or his Pandora stations in years, but when he notices the red and white flyer advertising the student radio station on

Tympani

Jonny’s prostate is a gift from the gods. Patrick’s patience, also.

God, He’s Gorgeous

“Jesus Christ, keep it in your pants Peeks.” Sharpy has covered his mic and is clearly trying not to laugh at him. Patrick doesn’t care enough to tell him to fuck off. “God, he’s gorgeous,” Patrick says to Sharpy, looking

To Know His Heart

With his reputation in tatters, Tyler will do anything to save his family’s name – including marrying a man he hardly knows.